Last October, Billy Flynn Gadbois, a divorced father of two boys, wrote a Facebook post about how he woke up early to buy flowers, cards and breakfast ingredients so his kids could surprise their mom, his ex-wife, on her birthday. Within the post, Gadbois went on to explain his actions by stating he is raising “two little men” and that “the example I set for how I treat their mom is going to significantly shape how they see and treat women.” Earlier this month the post went viral after it was shared by the Love What Matters Facebook page. In speaking with the TODAY Show, Gadbois explained that he and his ex-wife decided early on that they were going to put the effort into co-parenting. He went on to admit that peaceful co-parenting after a difficult divorce can be easier said than done – but Gadbois believes it’s worth the effort.
The goal of co-parenting after divorce is simple: Like any other parent, you want to ensure that your kids are happy, healthy and set up for success in their future endeavors. But when it’s a constant struggle to see eye to eye with your ex, keeping that goal in mind requires work. To help you stay on track, here are some tips for reducing stress while co-parenting:
- 1. Go into it with the intention of having a compassionate and supportive co-parenting relationship. Regardless of who ended the relationship, make the decision that if you can’t be great together, then you’re going to commit to being the best co-parent you can be.
- 2. Remember the qualities about your ex as a parent that you admired when you were still together. Just because he/she is no longer your partner doesn’t mean they’re not a great parent! Try to keep the other parent’s best qualities at the forefront of your mind and remember that you’re in this together.
- 3. Try not to talk to anyone and everyone about a decision that you two, as parents, need to make. While speaking with others can help you sift through different ideas, when it comes to what is best for your children, under your own unique set of circumstances, the opinion that matters the most is that of the co-parents.
- 4. Keep to previously agreed schedules and arrangements yet be open-minded and flexible enough to realize that plans will occasionally have to be changed. Be gracious and understanding and mindful of how you’d like to be treated.
- 5. Do what you can for the other person. It will come back you – If in no other kind than peace of mind.
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