To Be or Not to Be: The Emergence of Discernment Counseling

It’s common for couples experiencing issues in their marriage to attend marriage counseling in an attempt to try and work things out. Sometimes this is a productive exercise, and other times it can leave the parties feeling frustrated and exasperated. Divorce can be an emotional, physical and financial drain for everyone involved, and so it’s often difficult for one or both spouses to make the final decision to file. In recent years, some couples who are struggling with the decision of how best to move forward, either in marriage or in divorce, have been participating in discernment counseling.

Whereas marriage counseling is targeted toward helping couples to unpack and resolve the issues in their marriage, discernment counseling is focused on helping married couples decide whether it’s best to continue working toward rehabilitating their marriage, or to move forward with a divorce. Marriage counseling can continue indefinitely until one or both spouses decides that they no longer wish to continue, whereas discernment counseling involves a finite number of sessions, often between three and five, wherein a counselor will help the parties to find the clarity and confidence needed to assess the viability of their marriage and whether or not they are willing to contribute the amount of work needed to rehabilitate. Whether a couple decides to continue working on their marriage or to move forward with a divorce, discernment counseling equips them with the knowledge and direction necessary to proceed down the path chosen. Instead of focusing on changes in behavior, discernment counseling is more of an auditing process wherein a couple can reflect on the state of their marriage, their goals for the future, and whether or not these two principles are conflicting with one another.

While it may seem at first glance that discernment counseling is simply a precursor to divorce, the opposite can actually be true. If a couple explores the option of divorce and instead commits to continuing with marriage therapy, they are doing so having weighed all of their choices and deciding together that their relationship is worth saving. They can begin to rehabilitate their marriage knowing that each is devoted to doing so.

For more information about discernment counseling, including an index of certified discernment counselors throughout Pennsylvania and the United States, visit www.discernmentcounseling.com.

To schedule an appointment with one of our attorneys or for further information, call us at LaMonaca Law, at (610) 892-3877