Five Things to Avoid During a Divorce

1. Don’t stoop to your spouse’s level

If things are getting rocky during a divorce and the other side is acting like a juvenile, it helps to clearly memorialize that you are not okay with their actions (via text, e-mail, etc); but going tit-for-tat on the juvenile behavior will not win you any points from the Court or the other people being affected by the divorce. Just keep in mind that this kind of immature behavior usually only awards the attorneys, who are being paid to smooth over these issues when they come up.

2. Don’t proceed without educating yourself

This comes in the way of meeting with an attorney or reading books on the subject. In a divorce, a lot is on the table, including custody of children, money, and real estate. It is important to know if your goals align with what a Court is able to give you.

3. Don’t compare yourself to others who have gone through this before

Each divorce is unique and the outcome depends on a tailored analysis of each person’s circumstances and the circumstances of the marriage. While it may be helpful to use a friend or a family member as a support structure during the tough times, jut know that what they were able to get from their divorce in no way affects the merits of your own case.

4. Be open and with your attorney and listen to their advice

Your attorney is there to work for you. He or she should always be working for your best interests. However, your input is crucial for your attorney to map out your personal strategy. It is important that you find a happy balance with your attorney where you listen to advice while also making your goals clear. This can avoid unnecessary legal bills for something that ultimately is not that important, while at the same time achieving your most important goals.

5. Don’t forget to plan ahead

Sometimes in a divorce, emotions take the wheel and set the tone for the proceedings. This can drive the cost up – both the emotional cost and the financial cost. It is important to realize that this too, like everything in life, will pass. To rid yourself of the unhelpful negative emotions of a case, realize also that you are in the forest and although tight now all you can see are the trees, the goal is to make it through. Look to what you want a few years down the road and plan accordingly. That way, you can actually be ahead of the curve for planning what to do with the next chapter of your life.


At LaMonaca Law, all we do is family law. While we have seen it all and worked through most of it with our clients in the context of divorce, custody, and support, we also realize that each case is unique and must be treated as such. If you are divorcing and need your questions answered, we should be the first call. With a team of experienced attorneys with many different backgrounds. We will be able to provide the right fit for your specific circumstances.

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About Alicia Fastman

Alicia Fastman graduated from Hofstra University with a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology, then went on to complete her Juris Doctorate at the Widener University School of Law in Wilmington, DE. Alicia graduated from law school with pro bono distinction, completed a Certificate in Criminal Law, and focused her intensive studies within the fields of litigation and trial advocacy. Alicia joined LaMonaca Law in April of 2011 and is a Partner at the firm. She was selected as a Top Lawyer in Main Line Magazine in 2014, 2016, 2017, and 2019 in the areas of Family Law and Divorce and has been named as a Best Lawyer in the areas of Adoption and Trial in the Delaware County Daily Times. Alicia is licensed to practice law in Pennsylvania, and is a member of the Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, and Delaware County Bar Associations. Alicia resides in Delaware County with her dog, Leonard. In her time outside of the courtroom or office, she enjoys creating art, listening to podcasts, and spending time with friends and family.